Ron Becomes a Man
by Phoenix with a Head Cold
Summary: Ron does something to become a man, but with whom? Harry and Hermione are determined to find out.
1. Ron Becomes a Man

Ron Becomes a Man...FINALLY!  
  
  
  
Ron: Look Harry! I am a man.  
  
Harry: Oh! So you finally knocked up Hermione, did you?  
  
Hermione: I should say not!  
  
Harry: It wasn't Hermione?! Then who?  
  
Ron: It's not THAT...you'll have to keep guessing...  
  
Harry: It was Lavender, wasn't it? I kn-  
  
Ron: No! It wasn't-  
  
Harry: Parvati?  
  
Ron: Uh...no...  
  
Harry: Come on, it was Parvati wasn't it? I knew it! You banged her! You banged her bad!  
  
Hermione: Boys are such pigs!  
  
(A/N: Ain't it the truth!)  
  
Ron: NO IT WASN'T!  
  
  
  
2 Hours Later  
  
  
  
Harry: (rubbing forehead) Okay, we've gone through every girl in sch- OH MY GOD! It was Ginny! You sick bastard!  
  
Hermione: See...she was a whore! I told you...I knew!  
  
Ron: It wasn't a girl!  
  
(Hermione and Harry stare disgustedly at Ron)  
  
Hermione: It was Seamus, wasn't it?  
  
Ron: No...  
  
Harry: (licks lips) Well, Seamus IS pretty hot! Are you sure you didn't bang him, Man?  
  
Ron: (thinking aloud) I'm pretty sure I didn't...Unless...Wait!  
  
Hermione: Oh come on! We all know you did the nasty with Seamus, just admit it!  
  
Ron: I didn't!  
  
Harry: Since he denies it so much I think he did do it!  
  
Ron: No! I really didn't!  
  
Hermione: Denial, denial...  
  
Ron: Well if I actually do say that I did, which I did not, will it make me seem like I didn't?  
  
Hermione:(tries to comprehend what Ron just said)  
  
Harry: Oh, so you admit it!  
  
Hermione: (sparks fly out of her head as her brain has overloaded) Sizzle. Sizzle.  
  
Ron: BUT I DIDN'T!  
  
Harry: Well, let's just say you (hand quotes) "didn't". What did you do then?  
  
Ron: (mischievous grin) You really want to know?  
  
Harry: (speaking for Hermione and himself) YES RON, WE REALLY WANT TO KNOW!  
  
Ron: WELL.................................I grew sideburns!  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Bet you weren't expecting that! And by the way, we'd like to say that Ginny is really a little whore.... that bitch. Please R&R, even if it is a flame.... INSECURE BASTARDS!.... no really... we love them, we flame a lot. Yay! But good reviews are nice too..... ALL FLAMES WILL BE USED TO BURN GINNY AT THE STAKE!!! 


	2. WOW

Wow! Four reviews!  
  
We're happy with the four of you who decided to review, but come on! You people can do better!  
  
Look, if you liked the story, however remotely, tell us, if you ABSOLUTELY hated the story, tell us!  
  
WE LOVE FLAMES!!!  
  
You don't even have to sign in if you don't want to, we accept anonymous reviews!  
  
So I'll be sitting here, drinking my diet vanilla coke, waiting for reviews.DO THE RIGHT THING!  
  
Hey, I think I'm addicted to diet vanilla coke, the stuff is so good!  
  
Okay, now I've got to write ACTUAL information or ff.n will yell at me!  
  
So let's see.  
  
HEY! This is Yellow!  
  
You should read some of our stories, they suck, but hey, they're SUPPOSED to suck!  
  
I have to say something to someone.must freaking think!  
  
Have any of you seen Lord of the Rings the Two Towers? That's a great movie. Red, GeeGeeLove, a friend of ours and myself went to see it today.  
  
  
  
Harry: Gawd yellow, you're a moron.  
  
Yellow: I AM NOT! WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?  
  
Harry: Look at you. You're writing a crap chapter that has nothing to do with the story!  
  
Yellow: Yah, well, shut up, Potter!  
  
Harry: Make me!  
  
Yellow: I'll sick Snapie on you.  
  
Harry: You wouldn't dare.  
  
Yellow: Oh wouldn't I? Oh Snapie.  
  
(Snapie enters in a technicolour thong)  
  
Harry: (shudders) Oh Gawd.  
  
Snapie: (begins to sing) HOW I LOVE MY THONG OF MANY COLOURS! SUCH A DAZZLING THONG OF MANY COLOURS! I LOOK HANDSOME, I LOOK SMART! I AM A WALKING WORK OF ART!  
  
(chorus girls enter and begin singing backup)  
  
Harry: Look at what you've done now!  
  
Yellow: (covering her eyes in horror)  
  
Harry: Gawd I hate you, Yellow. 


End file.
